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Friday 19 June 2015

Tomorrow's Library Leaders

Yesterday I went on probably my favourite Librarians in Training course yet - a day-long workshop on leadership in libraries led by Jo Alcock and Andy Priestner. Since it lasted all day a summary of the course would be absolutely massive, so instead I will reflect on what the course made me think about. It certainly provided a lot of food for thought and I left with a head full of notions which will probably take me a while to put into any sort of coherent form.

The course structure ticked all the boxes in terms of learning styles and there were plenty of activities to keep the momentum up over the whole day.


The activities were nice and varied, some involving large group team work and some one-on-one communication. The workshop was less about specific leadership skills, however, and more an exploration of what leadership is, what types of leaders there are and so on. I felt like it could have tied back more strongly to our own leadership styles as I left wishing I could have had some feedback on what kind of leader I am. However, we were given a good tool for finding out through peer coaching, so I might give that a go in my workplace.

The only other thing I personally would have preferred would be a few more breaks to reflect throughout the day, as there was so much to think about that it got a little overwhelming for me. But I appreciated that they needed to keep everyone's energy up and I'm probably unusual in getting a lot of energy out of reflective writing. The whole day was rather self-reflective anyway, even if it wasn't in the form of quiet writing. It felt a little bit like a day of doing those online personality quizzes that tell you which of the Power Rangers is your spirit animal (only way more insightful).

I was surprised to learn a few things about myself, like how I'm more willing to give up happy memories than traumatic but transformation ones because they taught me important things about myself, that the goals of "making stuff" and "making people happy" are a non-negotiable part of my life and that in the Authentic Leadership model there are lots of values I'm drawn to but when it came down to it I chose Aesthetics. This was described as: "A need for self-expression and an interest in the quality, look, feel and sound of things. A close attention to and concern for the appearance and impact of their work." I chose this over Altruism, which I would have said was a more core value to me. But in terms of the triggers of what I've been working on lately it makes a lot of sense. I think I work at altruism and am more conscious of trying to be a good person, but creative expression is the thing I do without thinking - the thing that is so fundamental to me that it doesn't feel like work. That's not to say I'm particularly talented at creative expression, but it does fuel me and give me a lot of energy. These were really valuable insights that I will definitely keep in mind as I continue to try to figure out what kind of leader I am.

In terms of trying to figure out what kind of leader I am, the course didn't help me arrive at any conclusions. I even began to question whether I actually wanted to be a leader. But ultimately I think questioning this kind of thing is quite healthy. This is a transcript of the reflective writing I did directly after the course:

Why is the concept of "leadership" important to me? Why do I want to be perceived as a leader? I have this odd juxtaposition of wanting to excel, to be involved, to feel accomplished, and also to shy away from attention and praise. And yet "leadership" exerts a kind of fascination for me. I'm not really sure what kind of leader I hope I would be. If I am a leader already then I might be a transformational one. The problem of burn-out and the need to be able to handle criticism better resonated very strongly with me. Certainly I think I've been involved in a cultural change at work, but who is actually following me? No one? Everyone? Is it important to know who considers me a leader or who my "team" is? I guess I do need some recognition - or at least validation - if I feel this uncomfortable thinking of myself as a leader without external acknowledgment.

It's like when I was asked in a job interview how I thought my colleagues would describe me - I didn't know and the fact that I didn't know kind of frightened me. I am really uncomfortable with the idea of other people having opinions about me. But my god am I going to have to get over that if I want to be a leader. It's all about whether or not people feel motivated by you, supported by you, or intimidated by you. You have to be okay with people having opinions about you that are beyond your knowledge or control. You have to be okay with people not liking things that you do. So it begs the question, do I even want to be a leader and if so, why?

I have to say that I do. I think I have a lot of creativity and vision, but more than that I really enjoy working with the ideas of others. I care about others and about my work. I think I have a lot of energy and ideas to contribute and I'm not afraid of putting myself out there. Beyond that, I certainly have weaknesses and traits that might be considered problematic for a traditional leader: emotional immaturity, over-sensitivity, self-doubt, etc. But I can work on those, get out of my comfort zone and be self-reflective enough to learn from my mistakes.

Thanks very much for a really engaging and thought-provoking course, Jo and Andy!